


The Price of Dreams

by AllAboardTheSSDerp



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: A bit of self-esteem issues, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Characters are probably OOC, HakuKai friendship because I love it and I can, Hakuba is best wing man, Insecurity, M/M, Magic, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, My First Work in This Fandom, Pandora Gem (Magic Kaito), Possible panic attack/anxiety???, Well published work at least, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllAboardTheSSDerp/pseuds/AllAboardTheSSDerp
Summary: Kaito can't remember who this person is supposed to be.
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Comments: 8
Kudos: 133
Collections: dcmkkaishinevents kaishin secret santa 2020





	1. Reverie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kiwili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiwili/gifts).



> This is a gift for @kiwilart on Tumblr for the KaiShin 2020 secret santa exchange! I'm so so so sorry about the lateness, I had a lot of stuff to deal with regarding school and such, and then I just couldn't keep this piece short as no matter where I tried to stop it just didn't seem right. But I'll stop making excuses. It's here now and I hope you enjoy it!

Kaito can’t remember much about what happened that day. Well, to be fair he couldn’t remember much of anything for a while directly after it happened. But now, 6 months after what he has been told was an accident at his final heist, most of his memories have returned. Emphasis on most. He still cannot recall what happened that moonlit September night. Thankfully that does seem the only glaring gap in his memories, and if that’s all he lost he is completely fine with that.   
  
...And yet, despite Jii-chan and his mother telling him that’s all he’s missing, he can’t help but feel like he’s lost something more than that. There’s a hole in his soul that he needs to fill. As if something dear to him has disappeared. Gone without a trace, like a mirage in the desert. Yet he can’t for the life of him begin to think of what that might be. It hurts his head to even try.  
  


Oh well, there’s no use dwelling on it right now. There are far more important things to worry about. Like the fact that Aoko’s about to knock his door clean off its hinges with how hard she’s banging on it.   
  
“BAKAITO! WHAT’S TAKING YOU SO LONG!? YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE AOKO AND HAKUBA-KUN LATE! YOU BETTER NOT STILL BE SLEEPING!!!” She shouted, startling some of his doves.

Kaito sighs, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder as he walks over to the door and pulls it open to reveal the face of his childhood best friend, her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.   
  
“Hai, hai. I’m up already Ahouko.” He replies nonchalantly. “It’s way too early to be shouting like that you know. You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood at this rate.”  
  
Her face flushes red at his comment, though out of embarrassment or frustration he doesn’t know. _Probably a mix of both._ He thinks to himself as Aoko takes a big breath of air, likely in preparation to shout at him again, before thinking better of it and hissing at him instead.  
  
“Well, I wouldn’t need to shout if you would actually be ready to go when we get here for once!”

“I’ve got a lot of things on my mind, okay? I got distracted.” The magician replies curtly. Normally he would be more teasing and less surly with Aoko but he’s really not in the mood to deal with this right now. Thankfully Aoko doesn’t dwell on his rude tone, instead growing concerned at his reply.

“On your mind? Is Kaito still having that weird missing feeling?”

He’s always surprised about how astute she can be sometimes, but then again considering how long she’s known him and the fact that he’s confided in her a lot about his memory issues and their effects these past few months he probably shouldn’t be. He hums in what he hopes is nonchalant agreement as they all file out the door of his house and he locks it behind them.

“Hmmm. Aoko doesn’t know too much about those kinds of things, but maybe you should try not to worry about it too much. The memories will come when you’re completely ready for them to come.”

It’s not the most helpful of answers but Kaito knows that his friend is trying.

“You’re probably right.” He replies succinctly, hoping that will be the end of the issue. It seems that some deity out there is listening to his silent prayers as the rest of the trip to the university is filled with idle chatter about a new café that opened up in the area recently.

Once they arrive, Aoko splits off to head to her first class, at which point Hakuba, who had been strangely silent all morning, pipes up.

“Your first class isn’t for another two and a half hours, right?”

Kaito nods skeptically while pushing down the urge to roll his eyes. It was just like the tawny haired detective to memorize his exact schedule.

“Then you have more than enough time to come get some breakfast with me at the cafeteria. I know you couldn’t have had enough time to eat before we left.” He says matter-of-factly. Kaito is about to object to this sudden ‘invitation’ but his stomach chooses that moment to betray him, growling loudly in protest of not being fed. Hakuba smirks at the sound before walking off towards the cafeteria, Kaito begrudgingly following.

It’s after they arrive, order, settle down at a table, and muddle through 15 minutes of meaningless small talk that Hakuba brings up the topic of his memory issues once more.

“So, regarding that ‘missing feeling’ of yours. Do you think it could have something to do with your night job?”

Kaito merely sighs before replying “Honestly Hakuba, how many times do I have to tell you, I’m not Kaitou KID?” 

But really neither the question nor the reply was said as seriously as they used to be. For whatever reason, Hakuba had lightened up a bit on the KID accusations after he lost his memories. His accusations lacked the same intensity they used to, never as loud or public as they used to be. Not that Kaito’s complaining. But it almost feels more like he’s trying to acknowledge a shared secret rather than get him to admit to being a wanted felon and quite frankly Kaito doesn’t know what to make of it. Case and point, the half-Brit follows up Kaito’s denial with

“I know you’re not. But if you  _ were _ , hypothetically, then that possibility might be one to consider. After all, those whom you know only through your night job presumably wouldn’t know to come see you to jog your memory of them.” He takes a long sip of his tea, then amends his statement. “But obviously such a suggestion wouldn’t be helpful to you, since you aren’t Kaitou KID after all.” At that point, apparently having said what he needed to say, Hakuba takes his pocket watch out and glances at it, before beginning to gather his things. “I need to be going to my class now. But do think about what I said, even if it likely won't be very useful to you. Oh, and remember to meet back here for lunch at common hour. Aoko-kun will be very cross with you if you miss it again.”

And with that, he left, leaving Kaito alone with his thoughts. Admittedly his idea, as odd as it may have been coming from the person it came from, wasn’t a bad one in theory. But there really weren’t all that many important people that he knew as KID that he couldn’t meet as Kuroba Kaito, at least that he could recall. Even if there were some that he was forgetting, one would think that Jii-chan, who had been with him throughout the entire time he was Kaitou KID, would at least know  _ of _ them and could direct him in the right direction to meeting them if it was really so important. Really though the fact of the matter is that there really weren’t that many people that he met as KID that he would care about contacting again. The only one he could think of would be...

Tantei-kun.

But according to all his sources, Tantei-kun had gone back to America to be with his family around a year and a half ago and didn’t seem to leave any way to contact him, at least as far as he could tell. There was no forwarding address for letters, and all of the cell phones he’d known the glasses wearing boy to use were now out of service. Kaito wishes there were a way to contact him though. If nothing else the tiny sleuth would probably be able to help him with the mystery of his missing memories. 

Kaito is eventually broken out of his reverie by the sound of his phone buzzing in his pocket, at which point he finally realizes that he had actually finished his breakfast a while ago and had just been sitting there staring absently into space since Hakuba left almost half an hour ago. How embarrassing. After throwing away his trash and leaving the cafeteria, Kaito checks his phone to see an email from the professor of his upcoming class telling him that today’s session is cancelled, which Kaito isn’t particularly sad about. Though it may be advanced physics, those problems were essentially childsplay to him already, so it’s not as if he’s really going to suffer from the lost lecture.

_ Still, this does mean that I now have 3 whole hours to burn before I meet Aoko and Hakuba for lunch. _ The magician thinks to himself, pondering what to do with the newfound free time. _ I could put on an impromptu show in the quad. Those are always fun.  _

Satisfied with his idea Kaito nods briefly to himself and heads towards his destination, poofing two of his doves onto his shoulders as he walks to attract attention. Once he reaches the quad, he wastes no time, launching straight into his improvised performance. It quickly drew a crowd, and for good reason. It was filled with just as much flair and fanfare as his normal performances, despite being completely unplanned. He really outdid himself this time, if he did say so himself. For the finale, he makes all of the doves from his coterie appear, situating them on himself before suddenly and silently commanding them to fly off back home, disappearing in the cloud of feathers they make, before reappearing behind the gathered audience. Kaito whistles to regain the crowd's attention, and when they realize what he’s done, they break into thunderous applause. He bows at their cheers and praise.

“Thank you all for your kind words and warm reception! The show is over for today but I hope you all had a good time. Remember to get home safe and tip your waitresses!~” He jokes, sending them off with a smirk. Slowly the crowd begins to dissipate, wandering off to their classes with gossip about him and his tricks on their lips, until eventually there is only him and one other young man standing there. A young man who looks startlingly like him. Shaking the resemblance off quickly, Kaito approaches the other to see if he needs something, but before he can say a word, the stranger speaks.

“You’re Kuroba Kaito, right?”

Kaito keeps his signature self-assured grin on his face, even as confusion begins to rise in his mind. “Ah, you’ve heard of me?”

“Hard to go to this university and  _ not have  _ heard of you.” The boy with the cowlick chuckles. But Kaito can’t help but think that there’s more to it than that. The way this man said his name, he said it with cautious warmth and a sense of familiarity. It almost felt like the other knew him personally. But Kaito… 

Kaito can’t remember who this person is supposed to be.

He can’t just say that so bluntly though, so he gives a laugh that he hopes sounds far less awkward than he actually feels before responding. “That’s fair. I don’t believe I've seen you around before though. May I get your name?”

The corners of the sapphire-eyed boy’s lips turn down ever so slightly. The change is so miniscule that Kaito might not have seen it if he wasn’t as adept at reading microexpressions as he was. It’s only there for a brief moment before a pleasant and disarming smile is pasted on. It went by so quick Kaito might have thought he had only imagined it, if it weren’t for the fact that this new smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Kudou Shinichi.” He says with a slight bow. “A pleasure to finally meet you in person, Kuroba-kun.”

It’s a perfectly normal thing to say to someone you’ve heard about through rumors but are just meeting face-to-face for the first time. And yet, once again Kaito can’t shake off this odd feeling. There’s so much restrained, yet raw emotion in Kudou’s voice as he says those words. His voice quakes ever so subtly, as if he’s holding himself back from crying. Kaito chooses not to comment on that though.

“Oh, you’re that famous high school detective I keep hearing about in the papers, right? It’s an honor to have someone like you watching one of my little shows.~” He keeps his voice light and teasing in an attempt to lighten the mood, and it seems to work, if only slightly.

“Well I was very impressed. I haven’t seen many magicians whose performances were quite so spectacular.” The smile he gives is weirdly wistful and nostalgic, but at least it’s genuine.

“What can I say? I’m a showman at heart, I aim to please.” Kaito replies with a wink.

The laugh Kudou gives in response to that rings through his head like church bells, loud, but crisp, clear, and unrestrained. He feels strangely proud to have elicited such a reaction from the detective.

“I’m sure.” He finally says after a moment, before quickly pulling out a business card from his bag and following up with “Listen, I need to go now, but I’d love to talk with you more. My number is listed on my business card, so call me later, okay?”

Kaito doesn’t even have time to respond as Kudou swiftly hands him the card then rushes away. As odd as that whole encounter was, the magician can’t stop the giddy feeling in his chest. He still has a goofy little grin on his face when he goes to meet Aoko and Hakuba for lunch during common hour.

“What’s with that stupid smile on your face Bakaito? You better not have pulled a prank on one of your professors again!” Aoko says as he sits down at the table, scouring his person incredulously for any stray evidence of pranks.

“Of course not Ahouko! My own best friend thinks so  _ lowly _ of me! Oh, the  _ betrayal _ !~'' Kaito responds, wilting in an over-dramatic manner at Aoko’s ‘slight’ to his character.

“Then what, pray tell, is the cause of that smile you’re wearing Kuroba?” Hakuba questions as he glances up from his textbook.

“Well if you two  _ must  _ know, I made a new friend today. I got their number and everything.”

“Really?! And you didn’t harass it out of them?” Kaito is about to protest that pseudo accusation but Aoko continues. “That’s great! Aoko is absolutely thrilled for you!” She cheers, clapping her hands in glee. 

The magician had anticipated his childhood friend would be happy for him but this level of exuberance was unexpected. His eyebrows furrow. “You say that like I’m some incompetant shut-in incapable of socializing, Ahouko.” He grouses.

“It’s not that you’re incapable of socializing Bakaito. It’s that even though you  _ are  _ really good at socializing, you never make actual friends. It’s always acquaintances with you. So the fact that you’ve made a friend, and seem so  _ happy _ about it is wonderful!” Phrased like that, Kaito does suppose she has a point. “You said you got their number right? Why not invite them to eat with us?”

“He’s busy right now. That’s why he gave me his number in the first place, so I can contact him later.” He says, trying to hide the fact that he really did want to talk to the other man again right that instant. 

“Then text him and ask if he’ll join us tomorrow!” 

“Aoko-”

“What’s the harm, Kuroba? It couldn’t hurt to ask could it?” Hakuba adds in his two cents to the conversation with a know-it-all smirk before returning to his reading. Kaito gives an exaggerated sigh.

“Fiiiiiiine. I’ll text him. But if he gets annoyed with me for bothering him while he’s busy I’m blaming you two!” He whines, quickly typing up and sending off the text. Turns out that Kudou must not have been too annoyed over Kaito bugging him because he gets an affirmative text back 20 minutes later.

* * *

And so Kudou joined them for lunch the next day. And the day after that too. And the day after that until soon it became routine. After the first 3 lunches he and Kudou started hanging out on their own after classes a couple of times a week as well. He was a bit surprised about how well he and Kudou got along. Like a house on fire, as the saying goes. Kudou was as witty and clever as he expected the detective to be, but also unexpectedly cute and endearing too. Being with him was both calming and exhilarating all at once. It soothed him, yet also made him feel alive. Being in Kudou’s company was never boring that’s for sure. Even if they weren’t actively doing anything special, they never seemed to lack things to talk about. They could go on discussing and debating everything and nothing for hours without realizing.

Before either of them knew it 3 weeks had passed by this way. Today he is having Kudou over at his house for the first time. His logical mind is screaming warnings of how bad an idea it is to have a detective in his house, but he wouldn’t be who he was if he didn’t take risks. Plus, for some reason, he can’t help but instinctually trust Kudou. He knows the other won’t betray him.

The visit is actually going surprisingly well so far in fact. Kudou had arrived right on time, just as he was pulling dinner out of the oven, and the conversation was intellectual and lovely, as usual. Never dull or awkward at all. They were just in the middle of a discussion about the philosophical implications of the Schrodinger’s cat paradox when one of his doves decided to perch herself on the detective’s head. He thought it would have been one of the more friendly ones, Lucky, or Shiro, or even Yuki, so he is a bit shocked when he realizes it wasn’t any of those, but actually,

“Heart-chan?” Kaito questions, standing from his seat to get a closer look and confirm the identity of the dove.

“Heart-chan?” Kudou repeats, glancing up at the dove who had begun to make herself comfortable in her make-shift nest of short brown tresses. The dove coos in response, almost as if addressing her name being called as she settled down. It had to be Heart-chan, the scar on her wing proved it.  _ But that’s such odd behavior for her though. _ Kaito thinks, before sitting down again and answering Kudou’s partial query.

“The dove making herself at home on your head currently; her name is Heart-chan. I was just rather surprised to see that it was her because she’s really shy around strangers, particularly after the accident a few years back.”

Kudou slowly and carefully raises his hand to his head, extending it towards Heart-chan for her to examine. She pecks at it twice before settling down once more, at which point Kudou begins to pet her softly. “Accident?” He probes, gently stroking the dove’s feathers.

“Yeah, she was accidentally shot while she was out flying one day.”

There’s a sudden intake of breath from the boy across the table. “That’s terrible.”

“Mmm. I was really worried I was going to lose her, especially because I couldn’t find her at first after it happened. Thankfully a young boy happened to witness her get shot. He took her in and nursed her back to health before returning her to me.”

There’s a quick flash of something that looks like realization in the other’s eyes, but it’s gone so fast Kaito barely has a chance to analyze it. “Well that’s good.” He says quietly, “I would hate for you to have lost her.”

At that point Kudou stops petting the dove and Kaito extends his hand. Heart-chan, the well-trained bird that she is, recognizes the signal even without the whistle to accompany it and flies the short distance to perch on his finger. “I’m glad too. She was originally my father’s dove. Losing her would have been like losing a piece of him too.”

Once again, the briefest flicker of a peculiar expression crosses the detective’s face but that, too, is gone before he can blink. “Out of curiosity, your father, he wouldn’t happen to be…”

“Yep! World-renowned magician extraordinaire Kuroba Toichi!” 

There’s a few beats of silence before Kudou laughs, but the tones are all off. It’s less of a genuine laugh, and more of an ironic one, filled with both relief and barely hidden pain. “Heh, I thought so.” Kudou replies, avoiding his host’s eyes.

“You knew him?”

“I went to a couple of his shows when I was little, and I met him a few times. He was a mentor to my mom and somewhat of a rival to my dad.” Kudou lets out an awkward chuckle, one with a bitter tinge to the edges, then continues. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you really remind me of someone I met back when I wore glasses.”

The entire atmosphere shifted at that, becoming something heavy and serious. The air was pleading, desperate, yet hopeful and Kaito couldn’t figure out why. He swallows around a non-existent lump in his throat, then responds with a clumsy and uncomfortable laugh.

“Really? I can’t picture you with glasses at all.”


	2. Reminisce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinichi's POV time

The detective and the thief first met when the detective was less than half his usual size and age. Yet despite that, he still managed to foil the plans of, and thus provide challenge to, the infamous Phantom Thief. That’s how it began.

They started out as rivals, always seeking out the other for another round of cat-and-mouse or mental chess, always lauding their wins and losses over each other. But as favors were exchanged and secrets discovered, shared, and kept, the bond between the two grew. As they worked together more and more they became partners and as their trust in each other grew stronger they became true friends.

Then, the detective received a cure, and their relationship began to change once again. As the organization hunting him was still at large, he still had to remain MIA to most of his friends and family to keep them out of danger. He didn’t dare talk to most, and those he did were only contacted on rare occasions, just to let them know he wasn't dead. This was the detective’s life for the whole year he spent under deep cover. He’s quite sure he would have gone insane if it hadn’t been for the one companion he wasn’t afraid to contact. The one he knew could handle himself. The thief. 

Before he left his child self behind the detective gave the thief a specially made phone. That phone didn’t connect to any cell towers or wi-fi and could only contact one other phone. A matching one, owned by the detective himself. Through these special phones the thief and the detective stayed in contact through the long year of hiding. Thousands of text messages were exchanged between the two. Hundreds of hours of phone calls were shared. And eventually they each began to fall in love with the person on the other side of the phone. This person who could understand them and their struggles better than anyone else. How could they not? The one on the other side of the phone was the one who listened to them. The one who made them think and laugh. The one who helped them and consoled them through their worst days, and celebrated all of their achievements alongside them. Their partner. Their best friend. Their confidant. Their love.

Eventually the detective was able to bring down the organization that was hunting him, or rather, hunting them. It was as he was packing up to finally return home that he got one last call from the thief…

* * *

  
  


“Congratulations Shinichi, you finally get to go back home. Thank you for taking care of the organization for the both of us. That certainly makes the rest of my job a whole lot easier. If this heist goes the way I hope it will then we’ll be able to meet soon. Once everything is done I’ll come find you. So please, just wait for me, my love, my dearest Meitantei.” 

That was the last thing Shinichi had ever heard from the Phantom Thief KID. The final words he said to him in their last phone call. Shinichi did as the thief requested. He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

At first he had thought that the heist wasn’t successful, that the gem wasn’t the one he was looking for and he had to keep looking. But after two months with no new heist notice of any kind he scrapped that idea. Then he thought that maybe there were some complications that were preventing the thief from coming to find him, but after multitudes of messages and phone calls went unseen and unread, that idea too fell by the wayside. After all, if there was some set back that prevented the thief from coming to see him in person, surely he’d at least contact him the way he always did.

Time passed, and eventually six months had gone by since he had gotten that phone call. Six months since he heard hide or hair from the thief he fell in love with. He tries to console himself, and when that fails, he confides in Haibara, but that doesn’t stop the anxiety or the worry or the _doubt_ from seeping into his heart and mind. He _doesn’t know what’s going on_ and that’s the scariest thing. He could be severely injured. He could have been captured by a straggler BO agent the takedown missed. He could be dead. He tries to let his logic remind him that if any of these things happened he would have found out about it from the news or his international contacts by now, but he _doesn’t know for sure_ and that fact is terrifying.

If this is even remotely similar to how Ran felt when he was gone for so long, then he owes her another round of apologies.

There’s also the possibility that he’s fine, but has just decided he doesn’t want to meet him anymore. Doesn’t want to _be with him_ anymore. Doesn’t love him any more. Shinichi doesn’t know whether or not those possibilities are worse or better than the ones where the thief literally can’t come find him, but he does know that the _fact_ that he doesn’t know probably makes him a terrible person.

Shinichi continues waiting but with every day that passes he grows more and more tempted to try and find KID himself, or to simply give up. It’s this very dilemma that he’s pondering as he walks through the quad of his university and sees a messy haired magician performing. At first he only gives the show a passing glance but upon seeing the magician’s face he stops in his tracks.

_His face… it’s so similar to mine._ The sky-eyed sleuth thinks to himself, orbs fixated on the magician. He’s casually dressed and his hair is artfully mussed as if he just ran his hand through it a few times in lieu of brushing it. But the most captivating thing are those ocean blue eyes. He knows those eyes. He’s gazed at those eyes across rooftops and glared into them in the heat of the chase. They were beautiful then, but Shinichi thinks they’re even more gorgeous now. Seeing them up close as they sparkle with the pure joy of performing for an audience, they truly shine. 

The magician then begins his final trick and as soon as he starts it Shinichi remembers where he’s seen it before. The image of that rainy night outside the Mouri Detective Agency comes unbidden as the performer seemingly vanishes into a flock of doves and a cloud of feathers, only to reappear behind the spectators.

_That face. Those eyes. That trick. Is it really you? Kaitou KID? If it is, I’m glad to see that you’re doing well._

The young man whistles to get the crowd’s attention, then takes a bow once they start clapping. 

_But if you’re doing so well, and even going to my university…_

_Why haven’t you come to find me yet?_

“Thank you all for your kind words and warm reception! The show is over for today but I hope you all had a good time. Remember to get home safe and tip your waitresses!~” The messy haired magician jokes when the cheers finally die off, sending the crowd on their way with a familiar smirk. The crowd begins to wander off then but he can only stay rooted to this spot, staring at the other man in a way he hopes isn’t too blatant. Once the crowd disperses a bit more the magician seems to take notice of the detective and begins to walk towards him, obviously intent on starting a conversation. Shinichi has a million things he wants to say to the other, but in the end he ends up going with,

“You’re Kuroba Kaito, right?” And hopes that he was able to keep most of his overwhelming fondness from seeping into his voice.

In all honesty though, it’s less of a question and more of a statement. Possible thief alter ego aside, there is no one else this boy could possibly be other than ‘that stupidly cocky prankster magician from the other section’ that his advanced physics professor loves to complain about during lectures. 

Kuroba, for his part, just puts on a smug little simper at that. “Ah, you’ve heard of me?”

“Hard to go to this university and _not have_ heard of you.” Shinichi says with a chuckle. He’s trying to sound casual but it’s weak even to his ears. He’s simultaneously praying that Kuroba will acknowledge their other identities, acknowledge him, acknowledge _what they had_ , and praying that his prayers aren’t too noticeable. 

If Kuroba does notice anything, he doesn’t give any indication that he does, merely giving a charmingly awkward little laugh before responding. “That’s fair. I don’t believe I've seen you around before though. May I get your name?”

Shinichi tries to keep himself from frowning but he really can’t help himself. That most definitely wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. Thankfully he is at least able to paste on a semblance of a friendly smile and reply.

“Kudou Shinichi.” He says, bowing slightly. “A pleasure to finally meet you in person, Kuroba-kun.”

He hopes the response sounds authentic. His mind’s a bit too preoccupied rationalizing possible reasons for Kuroba seemingly not knowing who he is to invest much energy into his acting skills.

_Maybe he just doesn’t want to admit to anything that could be seen as suspicious in such an open and public place. That’s probably the smartest option regardless of what my heart wants. Or maybe he’s not Kaitou KID at all, but some other magician that I just happen to be seeing similarities in, so I’m projecting my feelings onto him._ Those small reassurances make him feel better but they are quickly overwritten by the doubts proposed by the dark part of his mind.

_Or_ _maybe_ _he’s not recognizing you because he doesn’t_ _want_ _to. Maybe he’s realized that he’d be better off_ _without_ _you._ The insidious voice whispers. Even as unlikely as the thought is to be true, it burns and he can’t seem to shake it off. Luckily Kuroba doesn’t let him dwell on it for long.

“Oh, you’re that famous high school detective I keep hearing about in the papers, right? It’s an honor to have someone like you watching one of my little shows.~” The other’s voice is light and teasing but it’s the mention of his shows that make the detective smile in spite of himself.

“Well I was very impressed. I haven’t seen many magicians whose performances were quite so spectacular.” 

_Really just two, and I’m fairly sure you’re one of them._ He admits silently to himself.

“What can I say? I’m a showman at heart, I aim to please.” Kuroba replies with a wink.

And that response is just so very KID that Shinichi needs to laugh. It’s all he can do to keep from babbling about how cute he and his cheesy responses are. He needs to leave and fast before he ends up making an even bigger fool out of himself than he already has.

“I’m sure.” He finally says once he’s composed himself. He stops himself from gazing into Kuroba’s deep blue eyes by quickly pulling out a business card from his bag and following up with “Listen, I need to go now, but I’d love to talk with you more. My number is listed on my business card, so call me later, okay?”

And then he’s off before Kuroba can say another word. He must look very odd to the passersby because he doesn’t stop running until he hits the station, and he doesn’t truly relax until he arrives at home. He’s very grateful that he only had the one class he attended before the magic show on his schedule today because there’s no way he’s going back to campus until tomorrow. His heart won’t let him.

When Shinichi gets home the first thing he does after putting down his bag is make himself some coffee to calm his nerves. Only when he is comfortably seated in the library with his coffee in hand does he allow himself to think about the meeting that just occurred.

_While it is true that Kuroba seems to act a lot like KID, has similar tricks to KID, and looks a lot like how I know KID to look, that doesn’t necessarily mean he actually_ _is_ _KID. That’s all circumstantial evidence at best. Reason for suspicion, yes, particularly when put together, but not actually proof of anything. In order to prove my theories for his lack of acknowledgement earlier, all I need to do is either prove that he is not Kaitou KID or prove that he was playing dumb to avoid anyone overhearing something incriminating. Both should be easy enough to confirm or rule out by gathering some actually conclusive evidence and getting a simple change of scenery._

He resolutely ignores the possibility of both of his theories being proven wrong, and what that would mean. 

_Though on the matter of conclusive evidence, wasn’t that magician that mom took disguise lessons from and that dad rivaled with also named…_

It takes him about 45 minutes of searching through his father’s hidden and encoded files but eventually he finds what he’s looking for. The file on the original Kaitou 1412. And sure enough, though the official name is listed as unknown, just below that line is the name ‘Kuroba Toichi’ written in his father’s own handwriting.

_Well, while that could be fairly damning evidence, we don’t know for certain that they are actually related yet. There are thousands of unrelated people who share a last name throughout Japan._

While that fact was technically true, the truth of the matter was that it was just a feeble excuse and Shinichi knew it. Still, so long as there was still doubt, he’d continue hoping. The formerly child-sized sleuth didn’t think he could bear the alternative.

_The thought that KID, that Kaito, might actually hate-_

Just as Shinichi was about to get sucked into his web of negative thoughts again, his phone buzzed. He would be embarrassed at the speed at which he launched himself across the room to retrieve the device if anyone else was around, but thankfully he was alone. Opening up his phone he found exactly what he had hoped for. A text from Kuroba. Seems the other boy was inviting him to eat lunch with him and his friends tomorrow. The Holmes-loving boy smiled to himself and set a 20 minute delay on his affirmative reply.

* * *

And so Shinichi ate lunch with Kuroba and his friends the next day. He found that he enjoyed their company and fit well into the group dynamic, so he continued to join them for lunch again and again until at some point it just became a habit.

He and Kuroba were spending more time together on their own too, which Shinichi didn’t know whether or not to be thankful for. On the one hand spending time with the magician was wonderful. He was funny, sweet, charming, and brilliant and the two of them just clicked so well. To the point where they found themselves finishing each other’s sentences with some frequency. The time seemed to fly by when they were together. It had already been 3 weeks since they met and neither knew where the time had gone. 

But on the other hand, the more time they spent together, the less Shinichi could ignore the blatant similarities Kuroba had to KID. Which wouldn’t be so bad in theory except Kuroba had also shown no acknowledgement of who they were or what they had before. More and more it seemed his worst case scenario was at risk of becoming reality. But the detective refused to give up hope just yet. Today was the perfect day to test his theories once and for all because today he was going over to Kuroba’s house. A completely private property that the other would feel comfortable in and have no need to worry about inconvenient eavesdroppers in. If there was one place Kuroba should be able to be completely honest with him, it was there.

The visit starts off well. He arrives right on schedule, just in time to see Kuroba pulling their meal out of the oven, and the conversation is quite engaging. They’re just in the middle of a debate about the philosophical implications of the Schrodinger’s cat paradox when suddenly a dove perches itself on his head. Kuroba’s face is somewhere between shocked and embarrassed at the sight.

“Heart-chan?” The magician questions, standing from his seat, seemingly to get a better look at the dove.

“Heart-chan?” Shinichi repeats, glancing up at the dove who had begun to make itself comfortable in the impromptu nest of his brown locks. The dove coos sweetly at him, almost as if in response to its name being called. Upon closer observation, the dove looks strangely familiar, particularly the scar on its wing.

“The dove making herself at home on your head currently; her name is Heart-chan. I was just rather surprised to see that it was her, because she’s really shy around strangers, particularly after the accident a few years back.”

Shinichi slowly and carefully raises his hand to his head, extending it towards the newly identified ‘Heart-chan’ for her to examine. She seems to recognize him too because she only pecks at his hand twice before settling down once more, at which point he begins to pet her softly. “Accident?” He probes, gently stroking the dove’s feathers.

“Yeah, she was accidentally shot while she was out flying one day.”

The detective can’t help the reflexive gasp he gives off in response.

_It couldn’t be._

“That’s terrible.” He replies

“Mmm. I was really worried I was going to lose her, especially because I couldn’t find her at first after it happened. Thankfully a young boy happened to witness her get shot. He took her in and nursed her back to health before returning her to me.”

_But it is. That would certainly explain why Heart-chan is so friendly with me despite it being against her nature, she must remember me from the Imperial Easter Egg Heist._

“Well that’s good.” He says simply, “I would hate for you to have lost her.”

At that point the detective stops petting the dove and the magician extends his hand. Heart-chan immediately flies across the table to perch on her master’s finger instead. “I’m glad too. She was originally my father’s dove. Losing her would have been like losing a piece of him too.”

Shinichi couldn’t have scripted a more perfect opportunity to ask. Either the universe is helping him out or conspiring against him. “Out of curiosity, your father, he wouldn’t happen to be…”

“Yep! World-renowned magician extraordinaire Kuroba Toichi!” 

_That cinches it then. He has to be..._

The room is silent for a few beats before the sky-eyed detective laughs, but he can’t keep his voice steady, can’t even attempt to keep the emotions from leaching into it. This is both what he’d been hoping for and what he’d been afraid of, all at once. “Heh, I thought so.” He replies. He can’t bring himself to meet Kuroba’s eyes anymore.

“You knew him?”

“I went to a couple of his shows when I was little, and I met him a few times. He was a mentor to my mom and somewhat of a rival to my dad.” The hollow excuse sits like ash on his tongue even though it’s completely true.

_It’s now or never._

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you really remind me of someone I met back when I wore glasses.”

And just like that, the deciding question has been spoken. Shinichi has the sudden urge to take it back as soon as it leaves his lips but he can’t. He needs to wait for Kuroba’s, for KID’s answer now. It feels like all movement in the room has ceased, even the air has stopped circulating in anticipation. The blood is rushing in his ears and the sound of it against the vacuum like silence of the house is deafening. His heart rises to his throat as Kuroba prepares to speak...

“Really? I can’t picture you with glasses at all.”

And it’s promptly sent rocketing down to the pit of his stomach where it shatters into a million pieces. He feels like he’s been slapped. Honestly he would have preferred that to this, because this means

_Doesn’t acknowledge you. Doesn’t care about you. Doesn’t_ _want_ _you. DOESN’T_ _LOVE_ _YOU._

He feels like he’s going to be sick. 

“Ah, yeah, I guess it is a rather surprising revelation isn’t it?” He can feel the tremor in his voice like he can feel the bile rising up his throat. He needs to leave. Now.

He barely remembers the half-hearted, “Sorry Kuroba, I’ve got to go.” that he gave as he hastily put his outdoor shoes back on before bursting out of the Ekoda home and running towards the station as fast as his legs could carry him. Barely remembers the trip home aside from the burning of his throat and lungs as he sprinted and his tear blurred vision making actually seeing where he was going nigh on impossible. Realistically it’s a miracle he made it home in one piece, but he doesn’t think about that. Can’t think about that. Because his mind is still reeling from the rejection.

When Kuroba had first asked him who he was this was the first thing the dark side of his mind thought of. He didn’t want to consider it though. Didn’t want to think about the possibility. He didn’t think KID would string him along like that. Would be so kind and tell him he _loved_ him only to drop him when he got bored. He didn’t actually believe the thief would do that to him.

_But, ‘when you’ve eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’._

When Shinichi finally gets back home, he beelines to his room, closes the door, and for the first time since his first childhood, he not only cries, he sobs.

* * *

It’s been a week since the incident and quite frankly, Shinichi hasn’t gotten much better. He’s been skipping his classes, not wanting to go to the university for fear of running into Kuroba and ripping into the fresh wound again. He’s been eating less, depression causing him to lose his appetite. His phone has been buzzing near constantly for at least the past 4 days but he hasn’t picked it up once. He hasn’t even left the Kudo Manor at all this week other than for one brief grocery trip. He feels pathetic, and he knows he must look it, too, but he can’t muster up enough energy to care.

He doesn’t even really know _why_ his reaction has been this strong. Yes, rejection sucks, but for it to be affecting him this badly is illogical. And for someone who prides himself on his logic as much as Shinichi does, the fact that he can’t even begin to explain his reaction rationally is yet another blow to his dignity. He’s not acting anything like himself and he hates it. More than anything he just wants to get back to some facsimile of normalcy but everytime he tries to begin to move on he’ll notice or think of something that reminds him of KID, of Kuroba and it will feel like his heart is being torn out of his chest and stepped on once again.

It’s in the middle of one of these fits of self-pity that the doorbell rings. At first the detective doesn’t answer it. He really doesn’t want anyone to see him like this. But whoever is out there is persistent and keeps ringing that damn bell. Eventually Shinichi just gives in and, after checking that his clothes and hair are at least semi neat and presentable, answers the door.

Admittedly, the Heisei Holmes isn’t quite sure who he was expecting to be on the other side but it definitely wasn’t Hakuba Saguru of all people.

“Good afternoon Kudou-kun. Hate to drop in unannounced like this but I’m afraid it’s urgent. May I come in?”

Unable to restrain his curiosity over what Hakuba of all people could need with him, he steps aside allowing the taller man into his house. Once the two of them are situated at a table in the study Hakuba gets straight to the point.

“Look, I’m not sure what that idiot Kuroba-kun did to offend you, but since he’s an imbecile who won’t apologize on his own, I’ve come to do it for him. Please consider giving him your forgiveness, or at least another chance. He’s been positively distraught all week.”

It’s that last statement that really gets Shinichi’s blood boiling.

“ _He’s_ been distraught? But he’s the one who rejected _me!_ ” He says incredulously

Hakuba’s eyebrows raise at that. “Not that I disbelieve you Kudou-kun, but as someone who knows Kuroba-kun well, I can tell you that he has been noticeably enamored with you since you met, so I don’t think that he would reject you intentionally. Are you absolutely sure that it wasn’t a misunderstanding?”

At first Shinichi scoffs. “A misunderstanding? As if there was anything to misunderstand about-” But thinking about it, he never did ask either question directly, so there is a chance, even if it is miniscule. “Hakuba-kun, I know you were far more invested in the actual case than I was, so tell me, is Kuroba really…?” 

He can’t bring himself to say the name, but thankfully Hakuba understands. He looks away. 

“Kaitou KID? Yes he is. Or rather he was.”

Shinichi’s eyes and heart harden. “I see. In that case, no. There’s no chance it was simply a misunderstanding.”

“You know between the two of us, I didn’t think you would be the one to refuse someone a second chance to walk on the right side of the law.” Hakuba frowns at him, disappointment and a hint of anger reflected in his gaze.

“It’s not _about_ what he did as Kaitou KID.”

“Then what, pray tell, is it about then?”

“It’s about the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to keep his promise, or acknowledge what we had, or even remember my existence!” The shouted words echo around the study before the entire house falls silent. 

When Hakuba speaks again, it is quiet, but with an undertone of epiphany. “You knew Kaitou KID. And rather personally I gather.” 

It’s not a question. Shinichi responds anyways, no point in hiding anything now. “Yes. I did. We grew rather close over my three year absence. Or at least I thought we did.”

“Were you the one he called Meitantei then?”

The blue-eyed man can’t restrain his wince at the nickname. “Yes.”

Hakuba sighs. “I don’t know how to tell you this Kudou-kun but, there was an incident as his final heist. I don’t know the details but he was left with retrograde amnesia.”

Not another sound is made for a beat. Two. And then,

“Amnesia?” Shinichi repeats once he’s processed what Hakuba said. “Are you serious?”

“I’m afraid so.” He responds, voice grave.

“How did that even happen?” His tone is somewhere between incredulous and hysterical.

“Like I said I don’t know the details. All I know is that by the time I arrived at the location he had flown off to after leaving the heist site, the gem was gone from his person and he was on the verge of unconsciousness, succumbed to it as soon as I got there actually. He was promptly taken to the hospital and when he woke up, all of his memories were gone. He’s gotten the majority of them back but some are still missing, like his memory of the heist night, and apparently, his memories of you”

“But that’s impossible.” 

“Not impossible, just improbable. But it’s the truth nonetheless. You can ask him yourself. And if you believe neither him nor me, his medical records will tell you the same thing.” Hakuba looks him in the eyes. “He passed out with your nickname on his lips.”

Shinichi’s mind doesn’t want to hope but his heart latches onto the possibility that he wasn’t actually abandoned with desperate vigor. His teeth worry his bottom lip nervously. He doesn’t want to believe only to get his heart broken once more. “Let’s say I believe you, what should I do about this then? What can I even do in this situation? And why are you even helping him anyway?”

“I’m helping him because even as much of an annoying pain-in-the-arse as Kuroba is, he is still someone that I, against my better judgement, consider a friend.” He rubs the back of his neck in slight embarrassment of his previous statement before shaking it off and continuing. “As for what you should do, I’d say, meet with him, apologize to each other, and give him a second chance. Look, I can’t promise that those memories you hold so dear to your heart will come back. His other memories did, so it’s possible that those ones will too, but it’s not a guarantee. But even if they don’t, if you truly care about him as much as you say, shouldn’t you want to make new memories with him anyway?”

That statement hovered in the air as Shinichi considered it, before he could respond though Hakuba stood up. “I need to be going now, Kudou-kun. Thank you for sparing me your time. Please do think about what I said.”

And just like that, he left, leaving Shinichi alone with his thoughts.

_Amnesia. After all that, I’m supposed to believe the answer was something as cliche as amnesia? That’s…_

He wanted to say impossible, but as Hakuba had pointed out, it wasn’t. Not really.

_‘When you’ve eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.’_

But could he really trust what he was told? It wasn’t as if he had a specific reason to doubt Hakuba, and that answer, though still not ideal, was far preferable to the conclusion he had come to.

_But do I really want to risk believing in something so far-fetched? Do I really want to put my heart on the line again, knowing the pain will only be that much worse if I’m wrong?_

His brain was still debating but his heart already had an answer, had already made a decision.

_Yes._


	3. Resolution

  
_  
_

Kaito is at the point of breakdown. Ever since Kudou abruptly left his house during dinner a week ago he’s been distracted, listless, and downright depressed; and it’s been getting worse the more time’s gone by. He doesn’t understand why he’s feeling like this at all. At first he felt guilty for unwittingly upsetting his new friend but that was about it. He had assumed he’d apologize during lunch on Monday, and Kudou would get annoyed and pout in that adorable way he does before ultimately forgiving him. But when Kudou didn’t show up to lunch on Monday he started to get worried. After another one, two, three days of the detective not only skipping lunch but university altogether, Kaito’s dread-filled heart sank to the bottom of his stomach like a stone as he realized that things were far more serious than he thought. Whatever he did to offend Kudou, it really hurt him. And for some reason he couldn’t comprehend, that realization set every nerve-ending in his body aflame with panic and fear. 

At this point it has been seven whole days since the incident. Kudou hasn’t come to school, hasn’t responded to any of Kaito’s texts or calls, and from what his spy doves have reported, it doesn’t even look like the sleuth has left his house at all. His guilt is immeasurable. Kaito would just go over and apologize, as Aoko and Hakuba had suggested yesterday when they saw him nearly pacing a hole in his living room floor, but Kaito has a feeling that the Heisei Holmes wouldn’t take too kindly to him showing up to beg for forgiveness without even knowing what he’s asking forgiveness for.

To say Kaito is an emotional wreck would be a grievous understatement. The magician hasn’t gotten any proper sleep in 3 days and practically every idle moment is spent thinking about Kudou. About his smile. About his laugh. About his brilliant mind, the only one he’s found that can keep up with his own. About the way his eyebrows get that cute little wrinkle in between them when he’s confused or thinking hard about something. About his gorgeous sky blue eyes and the shine they get in them when he’s solved a mystery. About the way those eyes looked, clouded with tears as he ran out the door. About how the inescapable feeling of loss, of something being _missing_ has returned full force now that he’s gone.

Kaito hadn’t noticed before but that sense of emptiness he’d had since his final heist disappeared after he met Kudou. He’d apparently found what, or rather, who, he’d been longing for but the detective slid into his life so naturally he didn’t realize until the other was no longer there. But now that Kudou was seemingly removing himself from his life, that hollow void in his heart has resurged with a vengeance. Before the feeling was merely a dull buzzing at the back of his mind prompting him to seek out what he was lacking, but it has evolved into a deafening roar that made his head ache constantly and refused to be ignored. It screams at the magician not only to find Kudou but to _remember,_ bombarding him with flashes of images that give him such a strong sense of deja vu it knocks him off his feet, but fade into nothingness the second he tries to recall them in more detail. It’s such a futile endeavor and it’s driving him mad.

Obviously he knew Kudou before. But he can’t remember him. Why can’t he _remember him!?_

Just as Kaito’s about to lose himself to the rage and frustration of it all, there’s a knock at his door. Thinking it might be Kudou, he rushes to open it, only to be shocked and disappointed by the person that’s actually on the other side.

“Akako.” He says, not bothering to hide the disgruntlement in his voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Not even going to let me inside before you start questioning me, Kuroba-kun? How rude. Is that any way to treat a lady?” She replies cheekily.

The messy haired man can barely resist the urge to glare at her as he steps aside, allowing the witch to enter his home. Once she’s made herself comfortable on his living room couch, Kaito, seating himself on the opposite end, opens his mouth to once again ask why she’s here, but she beats him to the punch.

“So Kuroba-kun, Nakamori-chan tells me that you’ve had a fight with Kudou-kun. Have your missing memories finally driven a wedge between you two?”

He’s about to tell her off for seemingly only coming to mock him before he realizes exactly what she said. “How did you know my missing memories were of Kudou?”

After all, he had only come to that conclusion recently, and he certainly didn’t share it with anyone.

“How could I not know?” She looks down her nose condescendingly at him. “Your memories of Kudou-kun were the only ones that you were supposed to forget in the first place. The fact that you forgot everything else was just the result of the magic being too strong.”

The magician’s hands clench into fists, and for a moment, he sees red. When he speaks again, his voice is shaking with barely restrained fury. “Do you mean to tell me that you are the reason I lost my memories, Akako?”

But before he can get too far into his rage, she scoffs. “Of course not. You know I’m not bothering with things like that anymore.”

“But you do know why I lost my memories.”

“You mean you don’t?” She says disbelievingly. One glance at his unamused and borderline aggravated expression tells her all she needs to know. Akako sighs in exasperation. “Think about it, you dolt. What were you doing just before you lost your memories?”

“I was at a heist.” He answers skeptically, not understanding where she was going with this. 

“Your _final_ heist. And for it to be your final heist what must you have found?”

Even though he can’t remember that night, there’s only one answer. “Obviously I had to have found Pandora.”

“And then?” The wine-eyed girl prompts, taking the tone of a teacher trying to guide a particularly stupid child.

“And then I destroyed it of course.”

The look she gives him is expectant and it only serves to make Kaito more annoyed.

“Look, clearly I’m not seeing whatever you think is so obvious here, so could you _please_ stop being so cryptic for once and explain like a normal person.” The former thief grouses.

Akako rolls her eyes. “Come on, use your brain Kuroba-kun. You destroyed a tremendously powerful primordial gem and assumed there would be no consequences for that?”

Suddenly her point hits him and he feels as if he’s been struck by lightning.

“Wait. So you’re saying my memories were taken from me as some sort of punishment for shattering Pandora?”

“Naturally. You destroyed an exceedingly precious thing that was infused with magic, so it took something precious from you in exchange. Call it the price of achieving your dreams.”

It made sense given how Kaito knew magic to work. Every action seemed to have a (roughly) equal opposite reaction and nothing came without a price. But still, something didn’t seem quite right.

“If it wanted to take something precious from me though, why were my memories of Kudou what it took?” He asked, uncomprehending of the reason, yet apprehensive of the answer.

She chuckles wryly. “Well that’s rather simple. What could be more precious than a bond between soulmates?”

The word makes his heart flutter and once again he feels the sensation of something clicking into place in his mind.

“Soulmates?” He repeats, voice barely above a whisper

“An ancient and immensely powerful bond between two people. It’s so powerful because it is not merely a conscious decision by those people but an instinctual, inevitable connection of souls. The gem did not have the power to destroy the bond itself. There is no magic in this universe, nor any other, strong enough to do that. So instead it merely eroded the foundation of your personal relationship with him.”

“My memories…”

“Right. Memories are the basis of our relationships with others. Those precious shared experiences tying you to another person. Without them it is very hard to keep a relationship of any kind intact. Pandora hoped that by erasing your memories of Kudou-kun it would cause your relationship to fall apart, thus making you lose your soulmate. And it seems to have worked, more or less. Kudou-kun recognized you and approached you seeking that same recognition. When you repeatedly failed to give it, his soul took it as a rejection of your bond. This caused him to withdraw from you, and that withdrawal was taken by _your_ soul as a rejection, even though you weren’t consciously aware of it. Now you are both suffering the consequences of that spurning.”

_That explains why I was taking everything so hard and couldn’t seem to control my emotions then._ Kuroba thinks to himself. _But, if that’s really how it is…_

“So that’s it then, I’ve lost him before I even realized I had him in the first place.”

The witch frowns and leans over to his side of the couch to give him a light knock on the head for that. “I never knew you to be one to give up so easily Kuroba-kun. Rejections don’t have to be permanent, especially ones like these where the issue was more misunderstanding than anything else anyway. Yes those memories you’ve lost were undeniably valuable and irreplaceable, but are the ones you’ve made with him these past few weeks and the ones you’ll continue to make with him going forward worth any less than those?”

Having said that Akako stands from the couch and heads towards the door. She opens it, but then turns back. “By the way, while there is no guarantee of this, it’s well documented that magic from a stronger source can reverse a spell from a less powerful one. And as I said, there is no source stronger than a soulmate bond.” 

And then, she leaves, shutting the door behind her. All is quiet in the house for a moment, but then, from across the room, comes the buzzing of his phone. He is not at all ashamed to admit that he quite literally leapt to retrieve the device. Upon opening it up, he finds exactly what he was hoping for. A text from Kudou.

Meet me on top of the Haido City Hotel at 23:45.  It reads. Instantly his head shoots up to look at the clock. 23:00. If he leaves now he’ll just be able to make it. Kaito sprints out of the house so fast he almost forgets to close the door behind him.

* * *

The night wind is cold against Shinichi’s face, more so than usual considering the elevation of the roof of the hotel he’s sitting on. Realistically he probably should have brought a scarf or something to keep him warm but really all he was thinking when he left was that he had to see Kuroba again and apologize. He cups his hands in front of his mouth and breathes into them to warm them, rubbing them together before taking out his phone. 23:44, the time reads. If Kuroba is still as punctual as he knows him to be, he’ll arrive any-

The maintenance door slams open.

Second.

Kaito’s head whips from side to side, scanning the rooftop. When he spots Shinichi he immediately dashes over and grabs his hands, surrounding them with his own. He’s completely out of breath and yet the words tumble out of him like a waterfall regardless.

“Kudou. Kudou. Kudou, I am so sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’d never want to hurt you.”

“Kuroba.” Shinichi attempts to interrupt but Kaito just keeps on talking.

“I didn’t even realize that what I was saying _could_ have hurt you at the time because I’m an idiot. I wasn’t thinking at all so I didn’t realize that my memory loss could have made me forget people that I had met.”

“Kuroba.” The detective tries again but again the magician just keeps going.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this before, but 6 months ago I lost all of my memories and while most of them have come back some of them are still gone. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner.”

“Kuroba.”

“But I didn’t intentionally forget about you, or ignore you, or abandon you, I swear! And if you’ll let me I’ll spend every day proving that I-”

“Kaito!” Shinichi shouts, tired of being talked over. The use of his first name brings the barest tint of red to the former thief’s cheeks. “I know.”

That is not what Kaito expected to hear. “You know?”

The sky-eyed boy nods. “Hakuba-kun came over to my house earlier today to explain some things. He helped put a lot of things in perspective for me.” Shinichi looked down at the ground. Suddenly his shoes seemed very interesting. “I’m sorry too. I should have just come out and ask the questions I wanted to ask clearly rather than dancing around them.” He takes a deep breath. “But I want you to know that I don’t care.”

“Eh?” Kaito almost can’t believe what he just heard.

Shinichi elaborates. “I don’t care that you’ve lost your memories. I don’t even care if you get them back or not. Yes, they are very special to me and I hold them dear to my heart. But these last three weeks have been wonderful. Interacting with you like this, it felt more like a dream than reality. And upon thinking about it I’ve realized, even without those memories, you’re still you. You’re still the same person I fell in love with regardless. And I want to be with you more, to make more memories that I’ll hold just as dear to my heart as the ones you’ve lost.”

By the end of his mini confession speech, Shinichi’s cheeks are bright red. He’s not used to laying out all of his feelings like that, and quite frankly he doesn’t know what’s come over him. But looking at Kaito’s face right then, seeing that bright and beautiful smile, he can’t help but think that he’d say it every day from now until the end of time if it meant he got to keep seeing that smile.

“You don’t know how relieved and overjoyed I am to hear that Shinichi. I want to try and get my memories, _our_ memories, back; but I don’t know if that’s possible. Even if it isn’t though, I, too, want to be by your side. I want to make tons of new memories with you that I’ll consider my most precious treasures. I’ve forgotten so much but I can’t wait to relearn it all. In a way, I’m almost lucky. I get to fall for you all over again.”

If anyone asked, Shinichi would tell them that the tears brimming at the corners of his eyes were just the result of the brisk wind. “You’re such a sap.” He says, voice soft, yet choc full of emotion, as if he was afraid Kaito would disappear if he spoke too loudly.

“Perhaps.” Kaito replies, mouth curling into his signature grin. “But you’re stuck with me now.”

“Hardly call it stuck if I want you to be here.” The detective snarks back, before pulling his (former) thief into a kiss. The kiss is everything he could have hoped for and more. His lips are a bit chapped from the cold but Shinichi doesn’t mind one bit. He knows his are just the same. And that hardly matters any way when the pure affection the other had for him is being portrayed with such crystal clarity through their dance. 

They stay connected like that, holding each other close for a while, only parting at the sound of a phone alarm going off. Removing his phone from his pocket, Shinichi shuts off the alarm and laughs before walking over to the corner of the roof.

“I know you don’t remember,” he begins taking something else out of his pocket and crouching down to fiddle with something. “But this place is really important to me, to us.”

There’s a small spark and a quiet hissing sound then suddenly a single blue firework erupts, briefly lighting up the night sky before fading away into nothingness.

Images flash in Kaito’s mind. A child and a phantom thief standing on this very rooftop. A confession of a dual identity. A cure. Long nights spent on the phone. A promise. They only last for a few fleeting moments, and he can already feel himself beginning to forget them again, but they give him hope.

“Happy anniversary Kaito.”

The magician walks over to the detective and embraces him, plants a kiss on his forehead, then looks directly into those gorgeous sapphire eyes as he responds.

“Happy anniversary Meitantei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is a bit confused on the time line, Shinichi was Conan for two years during which time Kaito found out his secret and they became rivals and then friends. Then Shinichi got the cure but spent a year under deep cover while he took down the organization. Right at the end of that year, just as the org has been taken down and Shinichi is coming out of hiding, Kaito makes his promise, then holds his final heist where he loses his memories. That's in September. The story actually starts at the beginning of March the following year. They spend time together and get to know each other over the course of the majority of March. The incident at Kaito's house happens on the 24th of March. Then they spend a week being stupid and sad until Akako and Hakuba's interventions and the beginning of their reconciliation on the 31st. The story ends just after midnight on April 1st, the anniversary of the first time they met (properly)


End file.
